Northern Ireland out of Euro 2012?

Members of the Green and White Army are compelled to put on a brave face as regards the Euro 2012 draw, but Mark Watson seems to have weighed our chances pretty accurately on his spoof football blog. Obviously the comedian has spent many hours studying bumbling IFA chief Ray Kennedy, because he captures his idiom with unerring accuracy.

‘Nigel’s done a tremendous job of reviving us as a serious contender,’ Kennedy told reporters, ‘which is why we’re… hang on. Sssh. Italy. Bollocks. No, as I was saying, there’s a real feeling of optimism at the moment, which… Slovenia. Ah, bollocks. But even so, we’re very hopeful that… hang on. Serbia. Are they one of the ones that are a bit of a joke, like Azerbaijan, or one of the really good ones that used to be Yugoslavia?’ After reporters supplied the answer, Kennedy added: ‘ah, bollocks. Bollocks to all that, then.’

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