Three Thousand Versts of Loneliness

Having disposed of both last year's finalists, young St Helens' darter Dave Chisnall faces Martin "Wolfie" Adams in the climax of the BDO World Darts. Following an epic 5-4 victory against Ted "The Count" Hankey, Chisnall repeated the trick, demolishing Tony "The Silverback" O'Shea 6-3 in yesterday's semi-final. It will not have escaped your attention that darts is not a sport dependent upon the weather. Whilst football, rugby fixtures etc. have been decimated over the past number of weeks, the arrows have flown straight and true. I trust that all 'Three Thousand Versts' readers will be glued to their TV screens from 17.45 this evening. In the interim I will repost the piece which I wrote on the equivalent Sunday last year, 'Portrait of the Dartists' . I’ve spent a significant portion of my weekend explaining, justifying, defending my predilection for watching a cadre of men, disproportionately overweight, uniformly unde...

I’ve spent a significant portion of my weekend explaining, justifying, defending my predilection for watching a cadre of men, disproportionately overweight, uniformly under the influence of lager, who arc a small piece of metal 7 feet nine and a quarter inches into a round board of cork augmented with sisal fibres. It is, I must confess, an uphill struggle. Unless one instinctively appreciates the fluid motion of the darting arm, unleashing its tungsten missile in splendid parabola, flighted unerringly toward the small, red Valhalla of treble twenty, one is unlikely to be persuaded of the merits of the sport of darts. I describe in vain the hypnotic pleasure of the three thudding arrows which accompany each darters turn at the oche. I laud, to little effect, the arithmetical dexterity required in order to instantaneously calculate a three dart finish in the hundreds. I elicit little sympathy when I invoke the stout musculature required to mitigate the hampering effect of several ou...