Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Antics to live long in the memory

I am by no means a man of complete abstinence, but I feel that the bar has been raised in the field of drunken antics inexorably. I feel humbled, nae ashamed to reproduce an e-mail from a certain young man, let us refer to him merely as Douglas Priestly Streat of Carlisle, Cumbria. Dougie, I pay tribute to your virtuoso performance. Quite simply it deserves a larger audience, but in the absence of much chance of that I will post it here:

Cracked open the glens+ orange at around 5 on fri.
Coupled with some tunes, golf and Father Ted it disappeared rapidly. Long gap in memory but am remember burping some puke down breeks at some stage tho NI top appears to have miraculously survived. A delicious curry was made and scoffed at some point and i am reliably informed that i was persuaded to sit through an episode of eastenders on promise of some grisly character demise, tho canna remember a single second of it. Some wine and Ted were on thr go at half four or so.
Saturday.
Predictably slow start. Getting to game meant bus at half 9 or something so that was out. Missed half 3 bus so didn't make pub till 6. Bus at 9 ruled out so ended up sprinting for 11 o'clocker, which turned out to be going different route. Driver and passangers conferred and established i could be hoofed off 2 miles from usual stop. Figured 3 mile walk was better than 20 odd quid for cab. Managed to veer off down what turned out to be grim clart track. Due to British stubbornness and being pissed, refused to turn back. Cue lots of scrambling around in mud, hedges etc and one hell of a lot of rustic language. Tempted to try to gatecrash some kind of toffs party going on in what appeared to be a massive house. Threw unopened voddy (half bottle) into field after particularly violent stumbling incident involving nettles and brambles. Bus left at 11.05. Made it home at about 1.45ish, utterly filthy.
Next morning saw toilet water bubbling up into the shower. Not good.
A lesson is there to be learned, and that is never throw away innocent drink, no matter how angry you are.
Went back yesterday to see if i could find bottle and to see how the feck i managed to go wrong but denied due to cow-herding episode..

2 comments:

Toddrpr said...

What puzzles me is why the toilet water was bubbling in the shower.

PEARL AND RUBY said...

What worries me is this guy went back to scower around for the unopened bottle of vodka....through the violent nettles and brambles......