Harry Potter and the Blinded Morons

I am not a man it is difficult to irritate. Indeed the ocean of my annoyance is in constant flux, its water’s rising daily to breach defences and flood fresh antediluvian tracts of human behaviour. But it strikes me that I am not overstating the case whenever I suggest that it would be equitable and just to stab in the eye any adult reading the new Harry Potter book ostentatiously in public.

When one wields this volume in a public place one is presumably embracing some of the following statements:

1) I still believe after all these years that it is quirky and fun to read Harry Potter. Look at me indulging my inner child.

2) I really genuinely love the books and feel no shame at reading a children’s fairy story in public.

3) I am a crowd following sheep who will jump aboard any departing craze.

Any / all of these sentiments deserve at the very least, a blunt object jabbed in those unforgivably abused eyes.

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